Monday, August 16, 2010

Florentino Perez Thinking Of Shutting Down La Fabrica For Good [Satire]

"We don't need an academy, creating players is overrated!"
Real Madrid President—Florentino Perez today in a press conference declared that Real Madrid will be shutting down their academy for good, and that the players in the academy will all be all sold for prices less than the price of the cellphones they have on them.

Arsene Wenger & Michel were the first ones to respond to the news and they quickly bought players of all ages, shapes and sizes by the dozen.

The news was taken surprisingly well by the fans of Real Madrid who said they were happy that they wouldn't have to moan all the time about a certain player from the academy not getting time in the first team and how it is unfair that some random 19 year old chick from Argentina is getting chances before a good prospect of the academy.

The Canteranos were the ones most pleased with the news because they think that now that they'll play at different clubs without a buy-back clause, Real Madrid will actually value them and pay some attention to them after they create a name for themselves with different teams, they are 100% sure that Real Madrid will spend millions to buy them and they would get to play for the team they supported since they were little kids after a season or two at max!

This is what Florentino Perez said when he was asked for the reasons of this decision, he said (English translation),  

"I didn't even realize there was something like the academy at Real Madrid, I thought they had shut it down after Iker Casillas graduated from there. Besides it's not like these kids were talented enough to succeed at Real Madrid, you have to be as talented as Drenthe and Gago to make it at Real Madrid!" 

Florentino Perez further went on to say:
"Trophies are the only thing that counts in my books, it's not like the Juvenil A did the double of the European Championship and the Domestic League last year! The academy can be considered a successful one only if almost all the teams in the academy ended up with a trophy or more and ours didn't, it's just a waste of our time and money and it is best to pull the plug on this sham, let these "players" be mediocre like Juan Mata somewhere else!"

I myself was at the press conference when Perez declared that the Canteranos were going up for sale, I tried to buy Pablo Sarabia but unfortunately I fell €5 short and missed out on making a huge profit. :(

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